But isn't Steam Steamy?

You might say that steamy, as an adjective, can describe a good many things including steam itself. To you, dear reader, I say “Fuck Off.” Take your giant human head, wrap it in plastic, and allow yourself to slowly die. If I were steam itself, I would revel in the freedom of being a rapidly expanding gas. I would daily celebrate the mere act of floating and burning in the cool night air. The freedom of steam is something I admire, almost as much as I loathe the common man, but let me draw your attention to one important fact: steam isn’t delicious.